After letting Eva have her own posts for so long, it is my turn now.
First of all, I have to let you know that this post has nothing to do with my dogs at all; it is a completely human issue post and it is going to be a bit random, disturbing, long and it is actually a mother's issue. So if you think you prefer a light daily read, please skip this post. I wouldn't mind at all : )
Many of you know that I have a daughter, Rosie who studies in a boarding in the UK and she is only 15, well, turning to her sweet 16 this April.
This post is all about her and me:
Rosie is good in music since she was a tiny little one and she was so lucky to have some very good experienced teachers to teach her piano and violin. Her piano teacher is a Uzbeks Russian, her husband was working here so she was teaching piano here; she is the one who told us that our little Rosie was talented in music and she did a great job in bringing up her interests and skills. However, three years later, her husband got the US green card so the whole family had to move to the States within six months.
Rosie loved this teacher very much and she was really into music at that time. As a mummy, I just knew I had to look for another good teacher who was at least equivalent to this teacher to teach Rosie. I couldn't find any because Rosie didn't like any one of them at all. Through the few years of learning the piano, she had attended to all the so-called talented, excellent piano teachers, local teachers, expats, any big names in town people can name it. However, except her piano teacher, she considered none of them.
I resorted to overseas at last as her violin teacher suggested us some good overseas schools. Let me cut it short, we found the present school, a music specialist school which caters both academic studies and music in the UK for aged 8 to 18. Rosie was ten years old and she was so lucky to get a full scholarship then, both of us packed and arrived the UK, I was with her for the first two years, just two of us because Daddy had to stay put and make more money for us to spend in the UK. Rosie enjoyed the school a lot and had a great fun over there. The problem came when the British High Commission rejected my multiple entry visa when Rosie was twelve because according to their Immigration Rules and Regulations, students who are above twelve are considered to be mature and independent so their parents can't stay there with them anymore. I couldn't stay in the UK like the first two years anymore, I had to come home. How about Rosie? She got her school there.
It was a big struggle for me, I had no heart to leave my daughter there at all. Then Rosie told me to come home but she stayed there because she loved the school and she liked her piano teacher. She still adores and loves her piano teacher and this is the six years she is with her now.
The nightmares came after I left her in the Uk. She started to feel miserable because she missed home a lot. I have to admit that we have a very strong mother and daughter bond, sometimes, I think it is too strong that it makes her very clingy. I know it is good to have a close relationship with my child but somehow I feel that there are disadvantages too. Don't get me wrong, I love Rosie to bits and I don't mind her being clingy at all. However, I hope there is something which can help her stop missing home so much and let her be happier there.
She didn't like the school anymore, she found people were annoying and she just wanted to come home because her daddy and mummy and her beloved dogs were at home. We talked to each other everyday and we had been though so many sad days and nights. Time flies by and this is her third year being alone in the school and she still misses home a lot. You can see how gradient she looks whenever she is home, she is so happy and she doesn't want to go anywhere at all when she is home. She just wants to be AT home. It is always a joy to have her at home and it is always sad when it is time for her to leave home again. Life has been hard for three of us since then.
No matter how hard her life is at school, she excels in both academic studies and music. She is one of the top pianists and I have no problem with her other studies. She is indeed a very good girl. She might be immature in many other things, make mistakes, throw her tantrums, being anti-social and rude; however, there are many virtues that I can bla bla bla here. I'm not going to do that, you might think I'm bragging about my daughter already.
My little one is a young lady today and she starts to question what her future will be these days.
After being in this school for five years, she wonders whether
1. she should stay in the school for her A-levels as she is doing her O levels in June?
2. she should continue her music once she leaves the school?
3. she doubts whether she really wants to be a pianist especially a concert pianist? This is due to the consideration that musicians have to work very hard and the pay checks aren't big. Besides, she will spend most of her time within the four walls and practise and practise and still practise for that few minutes or one hour performance.
4. if she finishes her A-levels at the present school, she has eight full years with the present piano teacher, should she follow her if she goes to a music conservatoire which also means she will learn with her for another four more years. How long is considered enough to be with the same teacher?
5. if she doesn't become a pianist, what could she do if she is only good at music? She thinks she can't do any other subjects because she doesn't do much academic compared with normal school children.
6. she used to consider Germany as her next stop after her A-levels, however, she lost her confidence in German language lately as she has a German teacher who just chats about the weather instead of teaching the language properly. She can't teach at all so she spends time chatting with the kids. It is a shame I know, I feel sad because she never really helps her students who plan to go to Germany, many of her school kids worked really hard on their own in order to get into a German Conservatoire.
So these are some of the issues at home lately and we have been talking about them since the first day she went back to her school. She has started missing home again : (
As her mummy, I have tried my best giving my advice but I feel that I'm at my wit's end nowadays and I hope some of you can help give me or Rosie some advice too.
Please pour out what you think, thanks!!!
A little extra information: We don't have such a school here, she won't get a good piano teacher like whom she has right now and a reasonable good education here either. So, you can say she is stuck there for the music and education wise. Back here, music is pop but not classical music and this is completely different from what she is learning at school. For education, most kids here will try their best to further their tertiary studies in overseas, popular countries will be the States, the UK, Australia and some others.
By the way, Rosie is dreaming of having her kennel one day but I told her she has to buckle up herself and make sure her pay checks are good before she starts having it because dogs need good foods and good health and they are expensive. In order to get a better future, she had better work hard in her academic and music so she can secure a job in the future too, LOL!!!
